The Jumping Off Point

The 4 Faced Liar

Here’s the sich… I’m not the guy everyone thinks I am.

At work, for example, I’m lively, hyperactive, sassy, and completely pervy. I crack off-color jokes. I shamelessly flirt with men. I slap asses, I rub shoulders, I act, very-much, the part given to me by my stereo-type. Part of me enjoys the attention and affection it’s earned me. The girls all want to be my friend (those who aren’t threatened by me, or disgusted) and the guys are flattered by the attention and the compliments. Everyone loves me (for the most part) and I’ve made quite an impression: I’m a slut.

Here’s the sich… I’m not.

On the private side, I’m actually quite the opposite of my public persona. I’m an introvert. I prefer the company of no one to the company of anyone else. I find sex messy and not worth the effort. It complicates everything and it frustrates me. The thought of exerting myself to date disgusts me, sickens me. The gay world around me is vain and shallow; I’m not pretty (imo). The men around me judge their lovers by their body. I prefer to look at more valuable assets: mind, heart, fears, etc. But those men are hidden from me and the effort it would take to find them is exhausting to me. I’ve given up hope. I’ve decided to not even bother anymore.

Here’s the sich… I don’t want to be alone anymore.

1. m3lodigression reblogged this from robertmyles
2. robertmyles posted this